Thursday, April 1, 2010

Sisterhood

Para español lea mas abajo.
Mujeres Aravena Garay
I have had the intention of blogging about a book that I finished reading some time ago, so finally today I’m writing about my best friends: My sisters. The book is: “You were always mom’s favorite! Sisters in conversation throughout their lives”. By Deborah Tannen, a professor in linguistics. The book shares insight and anecdotes from over a hundred woman she interviewed about their relationship with their sisters and it leaves you with a new understanding on the uniqueness of it. It was really fun reading this book, because I have four sisters. I would be reading it and say to myself: “Yes, that’s exactly it”! or “that’s so my sister.” If you have sisters I definitely recommend it, I have it if you want to borrow it.
I’m the middle child in a family of just daughters. We are very close in age and having twin younger sisters made it even more unique. I never heard my dad complaining about not having a boy. Every time someone would ask him about wanting a boy, which was frequently, he would say how happy he was being the only male in the house. I’ve been reflecting on how I have a different relationship with each of one of my sisters and how the different personalities and roles have evolved throughout the years. My oldest sister doesn’t play the oldest sister role anymore. The middle sister no longer has “the syndrome” (thank goodness). The younger sisters have stopped receiving advise all the time, now they are the ones that give it. The only constant is the fact that we are sisters with a unique connection. I remember exactly how we went from playmates to confidants, from picking on each other to defending, from talking about boys to talking about life’s decisions. I treasure the memories that we have together. I have some favorites that I hope I never forget.
I remember how my oldest sister Olivia started a mail exchange with me when I was eight years old. We would write letters and hide them in the closet for us to find. I don’t remember for how long we did this, probably for just a week, but I do remember how happy I was the fist time I found a little note in my pillow telling me to go find a letter in the closet that “someone” had left for me there. I love you Oli. Me and my older sister Viviana had such an extreme relationship growing up, we were the best friends at times, getting into trouble together and having so much fun, she was also the sister that I fought the most. When I was twelve and Viviana thirteen I remember putting on a show for our younger sisters, I don’t remember if we did this often but I do remember us turning the music on and doing silly dances and acting out the songs, being just ridiculous only to make our sisters laugh. I love you Vivi. My favorite memory of my two younger sisters Gabriela and Laura is when I used to pick them up after school. I was ten, they were six. I loved to “play” the older sister role, I felt that I had this big responsibility of bringing my little sisters safely home. We would walk back home each one holding one of my hands. I would asked them mom questions, like: How was your day? What did you learn today? Did you behave in class? I love you Gaby, I love you Laury.
I miss them so much, I miss the long conversations, the inside jokes, the teasing, the debating, the laughing, the encouraging and the loving. I miss not seeing my older sisters become mothers and I miss them not seeing me trying to become a good wife.
I’m a grateful that I KNOW that we are forever sisters and I’m grateful that my sisters also know that. I think knowing this gives us an eternal perspective when dealing with conflicts and disagreements (which have been many, c’mon you didn’t think it was just laughter. We are FIVE sisters after all). I love this quotation by Maya Angelou: “I don’t believe an accident of birth makes people sisters or brothers. It makes them siblings, gives them mutuality of parentage. Sisterhood and brotherhood is a condition people have to work at”. I think that is so true. I’m constantly working on my relationship with my sisters, it has been the most enjoyable work I have had. My sisters are the best gift my mom has given me.

Oli, Vivi, Liza 2
Vivi, Liza comiendo Damascos!
Vivi, Liza
Oli, Vivi, Liza
Por algun tiempo he tenido la intencion de escribir acerca de un libro que termine de leer hace un tiempo atras, finalmente hoy dia estoy escribiendo acerca de mis mejores amigas: Mis hermanas. El libro se llama: “¡Siempre fuiste la favorita de mamá! Hermanas en conversación a través de los años”. Es de Deborah Tannen una profesora de lenguistica. El libro comparte anecdotas y perspectivas de la relacion entre hermanas despues de entrevistar a mas de cien mujeres. Te deja con una nueva vision acerca de esa conexion especial que se da entre ellas. Fue super entretenido leer este libro porque tengo no una, sino cuatro hermanas. Cuando lo estaba leyendo podia identificar cosas que se dan entre nosotras. Si tienen una hermana definitivamente les recomiendo leerlo. Yo lo tengo si esque lo quieren pedir prestado.
Soy la hermana del medio en una familia de solo hijas. Somos todas muy cercanas en edad, mis dos hermanas menores son mellizas por lo que hace la familia aun mas unica. Nunca escuche a mi papa quejarse por no tener hijos. Frecuentemente alguien le preguntaba si le gustaria tener un varoncito y cada vez el decia lo feliz que era de ser el unico hombre en la casa. He estado refleccionando en como tengo una relacion personal y diferente con cada una de mis hermanas y como las diferentes personalidades y roles han cambiado durante los años. La hermana mayor ya no asume el rol de hermana mayor que se le asigna sin preguntar. La hermana del medio ya no sufre del “sindrome del hijo del medio” (menos mal) Las hermanas menores dejaron de recibir consejos todo el tiempo, ahora son ellas las que lo dan. Lo unico que es constante es el hecho de que somos hermanas con una conexion unica. Recuerdo exactamente como nos trasnformamos de compañeras de juego a confidentes. De molestarnos y peliar a defendernos y cuidarnos. De conversaciones sobre niños a conversaciones sobre decisiones importantes de la vida. Atesoro las memorias que tenemos juntas. Tengo mis favoritas que espero nunca olvidar.
Me acuerdo cuando mi hermana mayor Olivia empezo un intercambio de correo conmigo cuando yo tenia ocho años. Nos escribiamos cartas y las escondiamos en el closet para que la otra la encontrara. No me acuerdo por cuanto tiempo hicimos esto, seguramente solo por una semana, pero si me acuerdo lo feliz que estaba la primera vez que encontre una notita en mi almuhada que decia que “alguien” habia dejado una carta en el closet para mi. Te quiero Oli. Mi hermana Viviana y yo teniamos una relacion bien extrema cuando niñas, eramos las mejores amigas a ratos, haciendo maldades y pasandolo bien pero tambien eramos la que mas peliabamos. Cuando tenia doce y Viviana trece me acuerdo que hicimos un espectaculo para nuestras hermanas menores. No me acuerdo si esto era algo que haciamos siempre, pero si me acuerdo que prendimos la radio y empezamos a bailar ridiculo y a actuar las canciones haciendo tonteras para hacer reir a nuestras hermanas. Te quiero Vivi. Mi memoria favorita de mis dos hermanas menores Gabriela y Laura es cuando las hiba a buscar al colegio. Yo tenia diez, ellas seis. Me encantaba “jugar” a la hermana mayor. Sentia que tenia la respozabilidad de trearlas de vuelta a la casa sanas y salvas. Caminabamos y tomaba a cada una de la mano y les preguntaba preguntas de mamas como: Como te fue hoy dia? Que aprendieron? y Se portaron bien en clases? Te quiero Gaby, Te quiero Laury.
Extraño a mis hermanas constantemente, extraño las conversaciones largas, las bromas, los chistes internos, los debates, las risas, el animo y el cariño. Extraño no ver a mis hermanas mayores convertirse en madres y extraño que mis hermanas no me ven a mi tratando de ser una buena esposa.
Estoy agradecida de que se que seremos hermanas para siempre y estoy agradecida de que ellas tambien lo saben. Pienso que teniendo este conocimiento nos da una perspectiva eterna cuando tenemos que solucionar conflictos y desacuerdos (los cuales no han sido pocos, no pensaron que era solo risas, somos CINCO hermanas, que esperaban?!) Me gusta una frase de la poeta Maya Angelou: “No creo que un accidente al nacer hace a las personas hermanas o hermanos. Los hace familiares, les da mutualidad de padres. Hermandad es una condicion en la que se tiene que trabajar”. Pienso que eso es verdad, relaciones son una labor constante, felizmente mantener la relacion que tengo con mis hermanas ah sido el mejor trabajo que he tenido. Mis hermanas son el mejor regalo que mi madre me ha dado.

8 comments:

  1. awww me encataron las fotos!! tu y la vivi se ven tan lindas!! cute con los rulitos la vivi y tu con tu carita :) sniff sniff que lindas todas...yup it's true though...u fight with them, u cry with them and u laugh with them...

    ReplyDelete
  2. LIZA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOUR BLOG!!!! I have two sisters and could feel everything you do with your sisters. I love them both differently. Life wouldn't have been ok without either of them!!! Thanks so much for giving me the opportunity to hear about your sisters(and you) and remember and take the time to reminisce about mine!
    Hey, next time you are down our way...just stop by or call or whatever...we NEED to see you!!!
    We are so excited you sold the house. I know it will help you out so much.
    How are the kids...dog and cat?
    How are you?
    Hugs to all of you!
    Hope to see you soon!
    Love ya
    Cherie and Jeff

    ReplyDelete
  3. Great post. I would love to read that book if you still have it. I agree, sister relationships are so precious and i treasure all my sisters!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I enjoyed your stories and photos. I agree, sisters are great. I have just one sister, and we work diligently to stay in touch and keep sharing with each other - it's a relationship worth preserving!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I would love to borrow the book...after Kasey. Great post, I loved the cute pictures of you and your sisters growing up, it's precious.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Bueno, yo tengo mas hermanos que hermanas asi es que tengo lindos recuerdos ( y hechos recientes) de la relacion con mis hermanos, siendo la del medio siempre he sido mas independiente pero no menos regalona jaa, tambien extraño muchas cosas que hacíamos con mi hermana sobretodo bailar disfrazadas y hacer grandes espectáculos!! ( y cero vergüenza!)

    ReplyDelete
  7. I love that you wrote about your sisters. There is something amazing about sisterhood. And you are so right about the changing relationships. It's amazing seeing how we all evolve as we mature. Anyways, how are you? Congrats on the house. What's the next step for you guys? Hope you are doing well. TAke care.

    Laura

    ReplyDelete
  8. i love this post. so sweet. and not having any sisters, I have trouble understanding the depths of what my girls will get to share - so i really love reading about it!

    ReplyDelete